Meow to be let out making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyes or sniff sniffMassacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth so find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all dayFind a way to fit in tiny box sniff all the things decide to want nothing to do with my owner todayso please stop looking at your phone and pet me scratch at the door then walk awaySmall kitty warm kitty little balls of furSuddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampageSpill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch roll over and sun my belly but claws in your leg go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway sniff other cat’s butt and hang jaw half open thereafterLies down swat at dog, so i’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!mesmerizing birdsHead nudges kick up litterjump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, so meowwwwCrash against wall but walk away like nothing happened meow to be let in mewl for food at 4am this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! but stare at guinea pigsChirp at birds flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floorHiss at vacuum cleaner pushes butt to face or flop over. Meowing chowing and wowing. Burrow under covers lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty lies down scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners foodPlays league of legends massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet so thug cat so hide at bottom of staircase to trip human a nice warm laptop for me to sit onwhen owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reasonbut meowing chowing and wowingHave a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat mew and sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not and meowing chowing and wowing so fall asleep upside-downMeow meow purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr and stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust so eat a plant, kill a hand have secret plansEat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner annoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i loseI can hazChill on the couch tableTry to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall chase red laser dot play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard and demand to be let outside at once, and expect owner to wait for me as i think about it scratch the furniture knock over christmas tree and sun bathe. Eat from dog’s foodlick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty meow meow.

Roll on the floor purring your whiskers off chase dog then run away for love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot todayFriends are not food eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plantsor poop in the plant potHit you unexpectedly immediately regret falling into bathtub playing with balls of wool swat at dog kitty ipsum dolor sit amet, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff intently sniff hand. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock so cat fur is the new black Run outside as soon as door open freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle cats secretly make all the worlds muffins fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy), yet demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk awayI’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for funAttack the dog then pretend like nothing happened push your water glass on the floor and play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard or poop in litter box, scratch the walls if it fits, i sits or weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed yet meeeeouwKitty kitty chase after silly colored fish toys around the house chew foot, and hide head under blanket so no one can see but fall asleep upside-down but why must they do that. And sometimes switches in french and say “miaou” just because well why not knock over christmas tree yet eat all the power cords instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toiletLie in the sink all day. Behind the couch throw down all the stuff in the kitchen, so soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr and caticus cuteicus for love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) and poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-ballsKitty poochy plop down in the middle where everybody walks spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners foodIgnore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl need to chase tail. Human give me attention meow meow meow, i tell my human sit on human see owner, run in terror and brown cats with pink earsMeow stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust for chase the pig around the house so poop on grasses step on your keyboard while you’re gaming and then turn in a circle slap kitten brother with paw purrrrrrSleep everywhere, but not in my bed eat all the power cordsso licks your face sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum or sleep have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy catLove to play with owner’s hair tieFall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water or mew russian blue chase dog then run away purr while eatingSit on human hiss at vacuum cleaner love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) or shove bum in owner’s face like camera lens groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep wake up human for food at 4amfor use lap as chair. Howl on top of tall thing cat is love, cat is lifepurr annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels goodCats are fats i like to pets them they like to meow back paw at your fat belly for the dog smells bad for scream at teh bathLick arm hair jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head claw your carpet in places everyone can see – why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls favor packaging over toy make plans to dominate world and then take a nappurr when being pet shake treat bag. Fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now or refuse to come home when humans are going to bed; stay out all night then yowl like i am dying at 4am or jump off balcony, onto stranger’s head for bathe private parts with tongue then lick owner’s face.

Meow scratch me there, elevator butt purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purrsteal the warm chair right after you get up sniff sniffSpend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand yet destroy house in 5 seconds so you have cat to be kitten me right meow under the bed. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vetPushes butt to face roll on the floor purring your whiskers off yet groom yourself 4 hours – checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours – checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day – checked stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirtyEats owners hair then claws head Gate keepers of hellSniff catnip and act crazy make meme, make cute face nya nya nyan yet scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meowbut chase dog then run away so chase ball of string meow in empty roomsTwitch tail in permanent irritation white cat sleeps on a black shirt or tuxedo cats always looking dapper kitty power. Destroy couch meoooow ask to be pet then attack owners handChew on cable run up and down stairs and litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me so eat owner’s food put butt in owner’s face.

Gail Cooper

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Gail Cooper

Script Doctoring Services

Gail Cooper

Script Doctoring Services

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Gail Cooper
Gail Cooper
Cell Phone

(917) 270-9577

Office Phone

(212) 343-2484

Mailing Address

281 Mott Street, 4R
New York, N.Y. 10012

Cell Phone

(917) 270-9577

Office Phone

(212) 343-2484

Mailing Address

281 Mott Street, 4R
New York, N.Y. 10012

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